Terrible Idea #2: Killing Us Softly with this Song

Hello loyal fans. We’re famous now, but don’t worry, we haven’t forgotten you.

Fun Fact: we have so many international readers. So many. 1 from the UK, 1 from Turkey (Hi Brit) and 1 from Tanzania. Fame feels good.

For our next trick, we decided to honour the article which inspired us to start this blog in the first place. We won’t place a link to it because.. what if it’s better? It’s not. It was a lovely Buzzed article where two of their writers decided to subject themselves to that really annoying song, “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” for 5 hours. We decided to do the same thing, but for only 3 hours because we don’t quite hate ourselves enough for the full meal deal. Also we changed the song to be somewhat original.

It was a toss up between Uptown Funk, and We’re all in this Together from High School Musical, but we really didn’t want to do the accompanying dance moves to that one for 3 hours so it was out. We also weren’t sure we were prepared to ruin Uptown Funk forever. We realized that “I’ll be there for you” (Friends theme for some of you uncultured peasants), was really the story of our friendship, and was likely just annoying enough to drive us to the brink of insanity. Spoiler alert: Boy did it ever.

For your listening pleasure: 

 

 

 

Rules:

  1. The song must be listened to for the full 3 hours – no breaks.
    • If you go go the bathroom you have to take the song with you. No exceptions.
    • You have to start the song at the exact place you are leaving off.
  2. We aren’t allowed to do anything to distract ourselves.
  3. It has to be played at an annoying volume that we can’t ignore.

 

HOUR ONE:

 

Initial reactions:

  • Mira was super surprised at hearing the full version for the first time.
  • Mira looooooooved the ending. Did you listen to the full song? It’s nice.
  • They don’t clap in this version. Why don’t they clap!? We will have to add it ourselves.

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

 

Notable Quotes From Hour 1:

Mira: It’s making me feel crusty.

Joanna: You WEREN’T there for me.

Mira: I don’t hate YOU! I hate what you’ve BECOME.

Joanna: I’ll NEVER get tired of this part of the song! (Spoiler alert: She did in hour 3).

 

It only took 20 minutes for Mira’s sanity to start spiralling. To start, she had drank a disgusting amount of tea before we started so by that time she really had to go to the bathroom. It was serious. The amount of pee in her bladder was just contributing to the anxiety brought on by the never ending song. This is where the bathroom rule came into play, as she had to find a youtube video of it on her phone to take to the bathroom, and start it at the same time our version started, which meant she had to wait through almost the entire song before starting hers and leaving the room. Pure torture.

Joanna however, is just lovin’ it. She was having the best time.

Although Joanna was having a great time, there was one part of the song that didn’t go well for either of us.

The guitar solo was beginning to grate on our souls.

As she had never heard the full version before, Mira looked up the lyrics and got weirdly emotional because it was so accurate to our friendship. Later in the bathroom, she had the very clear thought that this is the song that should play at her and Joanna’s wedding. Then she sadly remembered that Joanna is marrying Andrew and not her. We’re just friends, we promise.

Speaking of Andrew

It was Joanna’s turn to go to the bathroom. She danced away having a lovely time, and left Mira by herself. While alone, she took some notes on the experience:

I am alone in this.

There’s no distraction.

God it’s almost been half an hour and I already want to give up.

I can’t wait until Joanna gets back.

I’m hoping it’ll get to the point where it’s so ingrained that I don’t even hear it anymore.

I’m PRAYING.

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Thirty minutes in and Mira’s soul is dying and Joanna is faring quite well. She’s still having the best time. Upon reflection, we realized that it’s the reverse of Terrible Idea #1 where Mira loved the adventure, and Joanna hated everything about it. It’s called balance.

Summary of hour 1:

Joanna is more bored than hating it. Mira is both.

 

 

HOUR TWO:

 

Notable Quotes from hour 2:

Mira: It’s probably not helping that we chose to do this during nap time.

 

Joanna: YOUR MOTHER WARNED YOU THERE’D BE DAYS LIKE THESE

Mira: My mother did NOT warn me there would be days like these.

 

IT HAS REVERSED.

We started talking about life and somewhere along the line, Mira started getting into it and Joanna slowly was disintegrating.

Mira (trying to sing along): Wow, you’d think I would know the lyrics by now.

Joanna (in the bitchiest tone possible): You should.

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My soul.

A terrible thing happened when Joanna accidentally shut off the TV. To her, it was the break she needed to not lose her head completely, but Mira… had another reaction.

 

Ah yes, we came to the phase we knew would happen eventually. We knew the only way to get through it was to sing along like a total twat.

Us: BA NUR NUR NUR NAAAA NUR NUR NA NAAAAAA

1:45 The Nausea sets in.

We’re not having fun anymore but the turtle is and that’s all that’s important.

In an attempt to distract herself, Mira started complaining about someone she really doesn’t like. This backfired, as the combination of hatred for the person, and the song nearly drove her into a rage fuelled panic attack. This is not an exaggeration.

Summary of Hour 2:

Time for the loony bin.

 

HOUR THREE:

 

Notable Quotes from Hour 3:

Joanna: Its part of my being now. But I hate this part of my being.

Mira: YOU hate what you’ve become.

 

Mira (Starts singing it country style): I’ll be there for youuuuuuuuuuuu

Joanna: Stop you’re not helping.

Mira: It’s helping ME.

Joanna: Yeah but its not helping me, and I’m ME.

What.

 

Joanna: We’ve gotten silly.

Mira: DON’T TELL ME HOW I’VE BECOME.

 

Joanna: I am able to compartmentalize. The hatred is there but I can push it down.

 

Joanna: I’m glad we chose three hours instead of five.

Mira: Yeah because we don’t have enough time in our lives.

Joanna: That and because I think I would actually have a stroke.

 

Andrew: You guys aren’t having fun?

Us: Dead silence.

Mira: Every minute is an hour.

 

Mira: NO I CANT LISTEN TO IT AGAIN I CANT I CANT. NO IM GONNA PUSH THROUGH. YOUUUUUUUUU YEAH!

 

Just when we thought all hope was lost, the power of the song brought us back. For some reason, the lyric “cause you’re the only one who knows what it’s like to be me,” re-instilled the joy in our friendship and our love for each other which had been fading as the song drove us apart.

But, Mira was still struggling. The longer the song went on, the more she became a shell of herself.

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“It’s making my toes curl”

 

Madness.

Joanna: Do you think if we listen to it long enough, our heartbeats will sync up to the song?

We checked. They didn’t.

It’s always darkest before the dawn. As we hit rock bottom, we realized that the only way out, was the only thing we knew how to do. Bad choreography.

2:52 Things take a turn for the worse.

With such a short time left, Mira had given up on life, the song and Joanna, and Joanna wanted to at least try to enjoy their last few listens and have fun. This did not bode well for our friendship. At last, the song had worked its evil and turned us against each other. Despite the blaring “I’ll be there for you,” we were no longer there for each other.

The disdain.

 

To be honest, Mira was being a crotchety old bastard.

Joanna was trying to be SOOOOOOOO fun.

Since Mira wouldn’t dance with her, Joanna passive aggressively went on a mission for a new friend in order to manipulate Mira into feeling jealous (no one was around, so she grabbed a stuffed frog). It worked. Mira attempted to get back into the spirit of things.

Joanna was having none of it. Mira even tried to sing along.

Joanna: Don’t make noises. We’re not friends right now.

Mira came to the conclusion that she would probably die alone because she was too lame.

Ever the peace keeper, Andrew showed up at the right moment with his guitar to play along with the song for the last play EVER. Because of his pure joy at playing along with us, it brought us back together for a final hurrah.

The End:

It’s over.

We’re friends again.

It feels… quiet.

There’s sushi.

 

What have we learned:

It’s not worth it. Also, our bond of friendship runs deep.

Joanna’s favourite TV show is RUINED.